I am used to the speed traps – I go through the town at least once a day. My knuckles are white as I clutch my steering wheel. I am watching my speedometer instead of the road because I can’t afford to make another extortion payment. I have to downshift and waste gas to maintain the irrationally slower-than-bicycle "legal" speeds. It is 11:00 at night. I know I am a target because there are no other cars around, and there are no flashing lights visible in any direction (rare indeed).

Suddenly I spot the police car. It is in my mirror, all lit up like a Christmas tree. License and registration. What crime did I commit this time? The Rossville Policeman said my "tag lights are out". I got out to check. My tag lights were not out – the were fully functional on both sides of the license plate. But the plate was covered with road dirt since it had rained the night before and I have to drive on gravel roads to get between work and my house north of town.

When I told this story the next day at work, a woman there told me that her son had recently been stopped in Rossville 6 times in one week driving several different vehicles, each of which supposedly had one or more lights not functioning properly. Beware, weary travelers. Keeping to the snail-pace speed limits in Rossville may not be enough to keep you safe from flashing lights and heart attacks in the night.